When most people hear about EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), they immediately think of PTSD, war veterans, or survivors of big, obvious traumas. And while EMDR is so helpful for that, what if I told you EMDR is also a game-changer for people-pleasers and perfectionists? Yep, the same therapy used to heal deep trauma can also help you stop obsessing over that one email you sent three days ago.
Wait—Perfectionism and People-Pleasing Are Trauma Responses?
You might be thinking, I’ve never been in a war zone or experienced a life-threatening event, so how could EMDR help me? But here’s the thing—trauma isn’t just about what happened to you. It’s also about what you learned to do to feel safe, loved, or worthy.
✅ Were you the kid who got praised for being "so mature" and "so easy"?
❌ Did you learn that making mistakes led to anger, withdrawal, or disappointment from caregivers?
🏆 Do you still feel like you have to earn your worth by being helpful, perfect, or low-maintenance?
If you’re nodding along, perfectionism and people-pleasing might not just be personality traits—they might be survival strategies your brain developed to keep you safe.
How EMDR Helps Break the Cycle
EMDR works by helping your brain reprocess the old, unhelpful beliefs that keep you stuck in these patterns. You know, the ones that whisper things like, If I disappoint someone, I’ll be rejected or If I don’t do it perfectly, I’ll be a failure. (Oh, and that voice? Not actually you—just an outdated trauma response.)
Using bilateral stimulation (like eye movements, tapping, or sounds), EMDR helps your brain move those beliefs from the short-term memory bank to the long-term memory bank. Basically, it lets your brain update itself so you can finally feel safe saying no, resting, and being human instead of a 24/7 productivity machine.
What It Looks Like in Real Life
Imagine this:
✉️ Instead of spending three hours rewriting an email to make sure it sounds "just right," you confidently hit send after one proofread.
🔄 Instead of spiraling after a small mistake at work, you acknowledge it, fix it, and move on without replaying it in your head 17 times.
🚫 Instead of saying yes to every request out of fear of letting people down, you check in with yourself first (Do I actually want to do this?)—and feel zero guilt if the answer is no.
Ready to Rewire Your Brain?
If you’ve spent years feeling stuck in perfectionism and people-pleasing, EMDR can help you break free from the need to prove your worth. You’re already enough, as you are—let’s help your brain catch up to that truth.
Curious about how EMDR might help you? Let’s talk!
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